Let's Talk About...

Emotional validity. Although if you read the title and instantly started singing "let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me", you are definitely my people because I always bust out in song randomly (and sometimes inappropriately).

But in all seriousness, emotional validity is something that is a very big deal for me. Even if I don't agree with someone's reaction or feelings towards something, I always try to remind myself that we are each shaped by our own past, upbringing, traumas, and experiences. This makes the smallest mishap a very big deal in someone else's world. And although we hopefully work to try to move on, heal, and become just overall better people, some things take longer to work through or maybe even a professional to process through. I believe it is so important to show our friends, partners, peers, co-workers, whoever, that they are heard and their emotions are valid. Why? Because it is not our place to tell them how they should feel or control their understanding of a situation.

I understand that sometimes we need a different perspective to de-escalate a situation or allow us to have a better understanding of what has happened. But what is not okay, is dismissing someone's emotions/thoughts/feelings, telling them they are crazy/sensitive/overthinking or whatever word that makes US feel better about the situation. Chances are the person who is feeling some type of way has a reason for feeling that even if they don't realize it. Sometimes it might not even have anything to do with us, we were just in the crossfire of a triggering situation. So I ask you to be patient and kind with people. It's been a rough year and many people's mental health is in shambles, even if they look happy on their Instagram or go on about how great life is.

Keep in mind we only see what people choose to show us, we only know what people choose to share with us. My best friend always tells me to focus on what I can control, and it just might be some of the best advice I have ever received. This last week I had a lot going on and on top of that I had a pretty triggering situation happen to me. Instead of feeling heard, understood, or of significance, I was left feeling alone, sad, and hurt. After allowing myself some time to process, I reflected on my bestie's words. I realized that I needed to control what I could and for me that was how I spend my time, who I surround myself, who I communicate with, and what I take in from social media.

As a social media manager, that last one can be pretty difficult so I am extremely grateful for the mute button and the ability to be able to hide people/posts/stories without having to fully unfollow someone. As for the rest of my options, I began to be very particular about who I spent my time with and I was even more particular with who I would talk to/text/call/direct message. If they didn't bring me peace, joy, or happiness, they weren't getting my time because that time was being redirected to me.

Life is too short to waste your time on anything that disturbs your peace.

If you've made it this far, thanks for listening. My blog serves as a safe space for me to dump my thoughts and emotions but I also hope that someone, literally anyone, can find something I write about relatable and feel a little less alone. As always, I am open to a conversation on your thoughts or just as someone to talk to if you feel alone. My comments and DMs are open, talk soon.

xoxo,

Shab